“We should just pack up and get out of here!” I exclaimed with alarm as my eyes darted around our RV in horror.
We’d spent one night in Corpus Christi and I was ready to leave.
We had just evacuated the day before from Houston as Hurricane Laura was hitting the coast and we were exhausted.
I glanced around as our three kids were trying to kill as many ants as they could, yet thousands more were streaming down the walls of our RV, scurrying across the countertops and running all over the floor.
I soon learned that this type of ant causes millions of dollars of damage every year to electronics! Dan found one electric box on the property that had stopped working because of these ants.
I had envisioned getting to Corpus and having at least one day to recharge from the whirlwind past few weeks.
That definitely didn’t happen.
As much as Dan also wanted to escape the ants and get a break, he pointed out that hooking our RV up and leaving wouldn’t fix the problem. In fact, it would spread it.
Out of exhaustion and shock at this bizarre situation, Dan and I both started to laugh.
The kids started giggling too and asking, “What are we laughing about?!”
We were so thankful at this moment to have teammates to call on who immediately found us an exterminator.
We had been infested overnight with an invasive species with the funniest name… “Raspberry Crazy Ants”!
They sound so charming right?!
Don’t let the name fool you– these guys are so invasive they run fire ants out of town.
Apparently, they even cover themselves with their own anti-venom to fire ants!
Raspberry Crazy Ants… a.k.a. Tawny Crazy Ants… get the “crazy” part of their name because instead of walking in an orderly line like chill little sugar ants, they scatter like crazy getting into everything.
Since it was going to be a day before the exterminator could get to us, Dan researched every possible spray, repellent, and powder to kill ants and began dosing our RV and all the area around us.
It was all out war on the Raspberry Crazy Ants in the Holman RV!
“This is fun, Mom!” our oldest son exclaimed as he smashed another hand-full of ants.
I am so thankful that our kids take so much in stride.
As I look around our RV after the chemicals stopped the invasion of ants, I still felt stress and overwhelm sweep over me.
In the flurry of evacuating and simultaneously shutting down our Houston site, our RV was piled to the brim with stuff.
As we worked on unpacking and shuffling everything, we discovered our frig was 15 degrees too warm…
…our a/c was struggling…
… I lost my full set of keys on the beach when we tried to get away from the ants for an hour…
…Dan banged his head really hard and was walking around with a headache…
…and I felt a pressure within myself to start the kids back to homeschooling.
And crisis continued outside our RVv.
Dan was doing what he could to support teammates and church parnters going into serve and assess the damage to Lake Charles from Hurricane Laura.
Soon we learned that much of the western US was dealing with fire and /or smoke. Dan was on phone calls checking in on pastors, churches, family and friends in the areas impiacted. He found out that masks that actually filter well were hard to come by in some of these areas. He got approval to order makss and is sending them to churches who have experessed this need.
Dan packed his bags to head to Pensacola, Florida with some teammates right after Hurricane Sally barreled into the Gulf Coast. But as he continued to assess and pray, Dan decided not to go.
I’m so thankful he stayed because Tropical Storm Beta was forming in the Gulf at that moment and had the potential to hit anywhere along the Texas or Louisiana coast.
“Are we going to need to evacuate again?!” I asked Dan.
“I don’t know yet. If it comes straight at Corpus, then yes. But it is too early to tell.”
We spent that day helping our Corpus teammates and a few local church memebers fill sandbag in preparation for Tropical Storm Beta.
Tropical Storm Beta ended up veering north of Corpus so we didn’t need to evacauate.
Phew!
We are still blown away at the way God provided a truck recently so we can hook up and go if we ever need too!
In the midst of all the external chaos, Dan… like usual… stayed so calm and took things as they came. I took much of it in stride and even laughed through some of the crazy, but as time went on I noticed a lack of peace creeping into my inner being.
It felt like a storm was brewing within me. I brushed it aside thinking it would all pass once we got our home and personal life straightened up. But even as the ants were dealt with, things were checked off our list and I began homeschooling the kids… I still felt “off”.
I thought that if I got more sleep it would go away. Sleep did help a lot, but it didn’t fix it.
I finally sat down to talk to God specifically about this internal storm.
God brought to mind the verses I had been reading the kids that week. I had started using the Discovery Bible Study Method for the first time with them and was loving it.
Our passage had been Mark 4… the passage where Jesus is sleeping while water is filling the boat.
I think my natural reaction to water filling my boat would probably be the same as the disciples… fear.
I wonder how long they waited until they woke up Jesus. It must have been long enough to be in panic and treat Jesus with the attitude of— don’t you care that we’re going to die?!!!
I have been mulling over Jesus’ response.
He calms the storm with his words and then asks them “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”
I have realized as I’ve continued to mull over this passage with God that I had always misunderstood Jesus’ question.
I had always taken “Why are you so afraid?” to imply that they really needed to work harder to not be afraid and have more faith. That if I was a “good” Christian I should somehow have the faith to never be afraid.
But I can’t muster up less fear or more faith. I’ve tried… it doesn’t work.
What I have been realizing is that the real answer to Jesus’ question “why are you so afraid?” is actually–the disciples are afraid because they waited too long to go to Jesus!
What if they had gone to Jesus as soon as the first waves got a bit choppy?
Like the disciples, I wait too long.
But why did they wait?
Because they had no idea that He could calm the storm with a few words.
And in my life, I forget that He can calm the storms inside me with a few words. Or I go to Jesus in a panic and an attitude of–Don’t you care that all this is happening?
He doesn’t calm every external storm in this world or stop every trial– Dan and I have seen so much destruction firsthand. In fact, the Bible says to expect trials in our life.
But I have been mulling over the question, “Is it possible for me to stay in perfect peace no matter what is happening around me?”
And this verse popped into my head!
“You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
And this realization has been just the beginning.
As I’ve been running to Jesus, I’ve been asking Him to show me even deeper why I’ve felt “off”.
Unexpectedly, God used the film “The Social Dilemma” to open my eyes to a lot of the deeper reasons I have felt a lack of peace. The premise of the film is to reveal that the business model of many of the giant tech companies is to learn as much about us by recording what we click on and watch…
so they can use that information to keep us sucked more and more into their apps and social media… so they can make money on ads.
I already was aware of this to some extent, but where my eyes were truly open was how deeply this type of personal targeting/ tailored experience can influence our behavior and can cause division, isolation, and unrest in society in ways that no one ever expected.
It’s as though these companies have created a “matrix” that seems so real and filled with truth, but really it is not.
As I’ve run to Jesus, I’ve felt an overwhelming conviction to silence the unnecessary notifications, remove apps, limit my time on social media, ask God to reveal distractions and help me to focus on what He is actually wanting me to do. I’ve discovered so much of what I thought was on my plate were actually disctractions.
As I’ve been running to Jesus and following what I know He is saying, I have seen His incredible power to bring peace to my soul with a few words. As I feel a storm beginning to brew inside me, instead of waiting, I’ve been running to Jesus. The freedom I’ve been experiencing is incredible.
If I had to sum up all that I’ve been learning, it would be this: if we as Chrsitians lack “perfect peace” the answer is not to beat ourselves up about the fear or try to muster up faith, but to run to Jesus.
He can calm the storms in our souls with a few words and reveal truths that will set us free.
If you’d like to hear more lessons God is revealing as we serve in areas hit by crisis, we’d love for you to join our prayer team! We share our personal struggles, stories and lessons along the way. Feel free to join right here!